Top 10 Web 2.0 Personalities of All Time

10. (tie) Pete Cashmore
Pete Cashmore is building a brand, and that brand IS Pete Cashmore. With a name like that, how could he go wrong? More cash is the secret name of the game in Web 2.0 anyway. Pete, according to his bio, is a “Web 2.0 strategy consultant”, which is Web 2.0 speak for ‘unemployed’.

10. (tie) Steve Rubel
Another member of the unnecessary headshot club. Hyping and monetizing the blogosphere one link at a time, all the while protesting too much about revolutions, peer production, and other phrases that become meaningless in the hands of most marketers.

9. Nick Denton
It ain’t easy being debonair in a world of slouchy, sweats-wearing bloggers– that’s why Nick spends more time at the stylist and at Barney’s then he does updating his personal blog. In all seriousness, his lack of a regularly updated personal blog is his one saving grace in a world where to be the best-looking Blog maven you only have to beat Jason Calacanis.

8. Scott Karp
Using the clever moniker “Publishing 2.0”, Karp has wormed his way into the hearts of many a young entrepeneur looking for ways to put people like Karp out of a job.

7. Jeff Jarvis
So Buzz-worthy, if he could blog himself exclusively, would do so, and then tell you it’s a revolution that will change blogging forever and slay the New York Times in one fell swoop. Endlessly banging on about arguments he apparantly has with himself, his absolute favorite phrase is “full disclosure– I consult for this company on a regular basis”. Web 2.0 translation: “some guy in the company emailed me”.

6. Robert Scoble
“Microsoft Geek Blogger”. Is there a formula which says the less likely you are to want to see a picture of someone, the more likely they are to include it in a prominent place on their blog?

5. Om Malik
So far, the greatest moment of his life was when ‘Ookles got funded in my Loo’. Web 2.0 translation? No one knows what that means, but possibly some sort of George Michael thing.

4. Seth Godin
Marketing 2.0 apparently = self-aggrandizement. When you run out of ideas, (really, how many times can you say be open and honest and still get paid for it? Apparently a lot.) the key is to make yourself the real story. A trademark hairstyle and a bright headshot on your book covers and website should do the trick. Sorry, Trick 2.0.

3. Michael Arrington
Has “parties” where “people” demo “hot new web 2.0 companies”. Allegedly much wine is consumed, and “wild” pictures are uploaded to flickr within the hour. Even after perusing The Divine Comedy for a few hours, it’s still hard to pick out exactly which circle of hell has drunk geeks and VCdroids fever-dreaming a $30million buyout for an RSS reader clone.

2. Umair Haque
The plasticity of his place in the value chain is leveraged by frequent bursts of microchunked content, all of which strategically leverages an edge competency in jargonized ruminations. The Lewis Carroll of Web 2.0, but at least his jabberwocky has a sense of humor, which is more you can say for the people who link to him with deathly serious tone, afraid that they just don’t get it.

1. Jason Calacanis
The 40-year-old virgin of sell-outs, he finally popped his cherry late last year by handing over his weblog empire to AOL. Like Lenin erased by Stalin, in Calacanis’ instant new cosmology, AOL is now the hip and cool tech company which ‘gets it’. One thing you never want to be called on his personal blog is “my friend,” which is Jasonspeak for “motherfucking bastard”.

Full disclosure: We love each and every one of these sites, their creators, and everything about Webs 1.0 through 2.9


4 responses to “Top 10 Web 2.0 Personalities of All Time

  1. Yay, another snark blog!

  2. Is this the same Bloat as the one of yesteryear ?

  3. Hey, shouldn’t this mention some of the entrepreneurs who actually built companies, like Stewart Butterfield/Caterina Fake, Mena Trott/Anil Dash, Matt Mullenweg, Josh Schachter, and so on? Practically all of the people listed are pundits as opposed to business builders.

  4. Funny. I liked #2 the best.

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